T+113: What a sh*tty day and it's not over yet

I was phoned by Kay at 6:30am this morning - I was sleeping at the McD house - because she had been sick at 5:30 and was feeling sick again. I was fairly awake anyway so I grabbed a shower and ran over to find Kay in a right state, feeling very sick. Shortly after she threw up again, poor thing. But fortunately no fever, just sickness. Still, Kay felt so bad that she started to doubt whether she should go home today. I told her that we'd see how things worked out. After a while she fell asleep and that's how she spent most of the morning.

I spent the morning somewhere between very tired - I got to bed after midnight last night - and very bored, just looking forward to going home later. Around lunchtime the duty oncologist stuck his head around the door to see how things were going. I asked whether Kay needed platelets before she went home and neither he nor the nurse had bothered to check the blood tests from the early morning. So he went away and came back 10 mins later with the news that, indeed, it would be best if Kay had a platelet top up. But then he added that a culture of her blood had revealed a bacterial infection, nothing serious mind you, but that she would need to be put on antibiotics which have to be given intravenously. However he promised to try and arrange for tomorrow's and Monday's treatments to be done in Eindhoven. So in principle we could still go home later but the price would be two mornings hanging out at the Catherina.

I went and got a cup of tea and came back to find Kay sobbing her heart out. The news that she'd got yet another bacteria had hit her hard and she was very depressed by yet another setback. She was very worried that her body is giving up the fight and scared of the consequences of another infection. I arranged for her to talk to the duty ward doctor who is someone that Kay likes and trusts (Esther, it's time to came back from holiday!). She told Kay that the new infection is no big deal and that it's just another thing and that all the doctors are pleased with Kay's general progress. That Kay shouldn't worry herself, etc. After a while Kay cheered up, especially when the conversation moved on to other things.

The antiviral treatment progressed normally during the afternoon, but around 3pm Kay started to feel very bad again, complaining of feeling sick and pressure on her chest. She also broke out again in a rash that has been coming and going the last few days. Again she started to doubt whether she should go home, whether she could cope with the car ride. So I suggested that she get out of bed and sit in a chair for a while, which she did. That seemed to go OK but then the nurse measured her temperature, 39.1C. Bl**dy Hell! Too high for it to be sensible for her to go home. So we officially decided to call off the trip home for today and re-evaluate the situation tomorrow.

And here we are, Kay fast asleep again and me bored stiff, too tired to do very much and completely fed up that I have to spend another damned night here. Can't remember if I mentioned it, but I've cut out alcohol because I think that it doesn't mix well with my tablets and since I've done that I've slept better. But the idea of spending a Saturday night alone here without a decent (or even indecent) glass of wine makes me feel so depressed that I'm starting to wonder if I need to take more antidepressants... Ha!

Actually, as far as I can tell the only effect of the medication that I've been given has been to give me a more or less permanent headache. I certainly don't feel any less tired or less foggy in my head. And I'm not convinced that the tablets help me to sleep either since I've mostly slept terribly since I started taking them.

Anyway, I've bought the film "Shutter Island" from iTunes to watch this evening and we also have some kids film in case I can distract Kay from watching crappy TV. Whoopee, one big party.