5)time of death 7:35 am
The End
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Summer 2009
Kay-Kay
Summer 2009
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2010
(186)
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September
(73)
- Final entry
- Kay Eleanor Howe: 2/8/2000 - 19/9/2010
- End in Sight
- Bedtime Thought
- Pattern of the Days
- Back to Yesterday
- DNR Status Revised Downwards
- Situation suddenly deteriorated
- Not Better, Not Worse, Just Different
- Fresh Breath
- Interesting News Not of Immediate Importance
- Little acts of kindness
- Near miss
- The Pilot's Analogy
- Lovely Song
- Results of Briefing
- Knife pressed against thread
- Too much stress in an evening
- Tiny tiny wee bit of light
- The five worst things you can hear
- Still there... just
- Stable for now
- Different ventilator
- End probably in sight
- Situation Critical(er)
- Extremely Fragile
- No Significant Change
- A bit to add
- Mixed Results
- Update
- Reintroduction of Antibiotics
- Worry Returns
- Parents Flat Out
- Step backwards
- Another Day Over(ish)
- The Road Ahead
- Stable Overnight
- Today's Impressions: Endoscopy
- Poo Two
- KayTube
- Scary procedure starting
- Poo
- Day End
- Quiet Afternoon
- Better Atmosphere
- Better night
- Reflections of the Day
- Impression
- Situation Meeting
- Wait provisionally over
- Terrible terrible wait
- Worse
- 3:30am No Change
- Some not negative news
- I've said it before...
- Process complete
- Tense afternoon starting
- Systems Failing
- Stable through the night
- Still critical
- No change
- Puzzle
- Liquid Fear
- A bit worse
- How to sleep during a life and death crisis
- Perspective
- Doctor pronounces that Kay will make it through
- Condition critical but stable
- Prepare for the worst
- Photos...
- Intensive Care
- T+132: Déjà Vu Again
- T+131: Tiring Days and the Zombie CEO
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September
(73)
Dear Rob and Marion,
ReplyDeletetears are running while typing this note.
I'm lost for words.
I believe that "the man upstairs"
didn't do his best.
Arno
High Flight
ReplyDeleteOh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.
Pilot Officer John Gillespie Magee
No 412 Sqn, RCAF
She has taken all the candle lights with her and left us behind.
ReplyDeleteShe is looking upon us now and has shaken our mind
The grief we feel can't be taken away
It goes so deep, it needs our tears to go astray
In a distance I hear church bells ring
Is it for a little girl whom has been cut the last string?
My tears flow for Kay, for you, for the strength I cannot give any more.
Viviane
Rest in peace. beautiful little fighter.
ReplyDeletewish there were words to comfort you just now Rob, Marion and all the family, you are all in our hearts.
Linda and Em xx
At the moment no words, just tears.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace Kay
Sharon x
And if I go, while you're still here...
ReplyDeleteKnow that I live on, vibrating to a different measure, behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me, so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other. Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart. I will be there.
Dear Rob, Marion, Nattie and Lauren, wish I could do something more, send you all my love.
Inge Fransen
Rest now Little one. You were such a brave little girl who has given so much to so many in such a brief time. Rest now.
ReplyDeleteTo Rob, Marion, Lauren & Natasha words are not enough. You are all in our hearts today and always.
Much love
Auntie Jacky,Uncle John, Lynne, John, James & Emily
Rob en Marion,
ReplyDeleteWat is het leven toch oneerlijk verdeeld. Woorden schieten gewoon tekort.
Natascha en Robin
To Kay: You've given everything you have. You can be proud of yourself, just as we all are proud of you. Your fight is over, now rest in peace, little girl.
ReplyDeleteTo Rob, Marion, Lauren & Natasha:
The little fish have pushed all they can.
You also can be proud of what you did, and of course, of Kay.
As always, our thoughts are still with you.
Jos & Ingrid
Although we knew that the end was near it came as a terrible shock to us.
ReplyDeleteHow we will miss that wonderful ringing voice saying " Hello Granny". A light
Has gone out in our lives. Mum and Dad.
Geen woord drukt uit de droefheid
ReplyDeleteen niets geeft weer de pijn.
Aan alles wat jullie voor kay wensten
en dat niet zo heeft mogen zijn
Lieve rob-marion-nattie en lauren,
Ik wens jullie ongelooflijk veel sterkte en kracht de komende tijd
Marionne
Condolence with loosing Kay. Very sad.
ReplyDeleteThe wrong end of a long fight.
Christel and Han
Dear Kay: Candles will be kept burning, Bibelotte is hugging her Nijntje and tells her it is unfair, we are thinking of yoy, your sisters and your parents and feel one big thing :
ReplyDeletePride...in the name of love.
Rest in peace and take care of your beloved up there. They deserves all and deseserved more
Maarten, Stephanie, Jybbe and Bibelotte
Do not stand by my grave and weep,
ReplyDeleteI am not there,I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow
I am the gentle showers of rain
I am the fields of ripening grain,
I am the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the star shine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die. Mary Frye
You will always be with us, darling Kay. Love Granny
Dear Rob, Marion, Natasha and Lauren,
ReplyDeleteIk zit hier met tranen in mijn ogen op zoek naar woorden, die ik niet kan vinden. Heel veel kracht toegewenst voor jullie allemaal. We denken aan jullie.
Leon en Angelines
Hello Rob, Marion, Lauren & Natasha.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences.
Loosing your Child must be the terriblest thing that can happen to a family
I followed Kay and her fight true the news Elles en Remco gave me.
Most respect for Kay and you all how you delt with this all
Our love for our childs is send to you and hope that the warming of that toughts will help you true the coming time.
Big hug Laura and Kees Boshoven and family
From Istvan: I will miss those little nice hands which conforted me while the Zwarte Piets where around. Rest in peace little soul.
ReplyDeleteFrom Erika, Laci and Antonia: Rest in peace little Kay. For Rob, Marion and the rest of the family: Our deapest condolences. Try to remain strong as you were until now.
Lieve Kay,
ReplyDeleteRust zacht, we zullen je nooit vergeten.
Ook voor de familie, heel veel sterkte toegewenst.
Liefs, Danique & Daimy
Rob, Marion
ReplyDeleteStill a shock to read the news, even now. I wish there was more I could say, but our thoughts here are with you all. As always, wishing you all peace & strength
Russell & Annette
Lieve Kay,
ReplyDeleteZo jong en volop in het leven,
Mocht jij je dromen niet meer beleven
De wilskracht en glimlach op je gezicht
Blijft voor altijd in ons geheugen gegrift
Lieve Rob, Marion, Natscha en Lauren,
Veel sterkte en kracht in deze moeilijke tijd.
Arno, Jolanda, Quenten en Renzo
The most courageous girl. The most courageous family. My heart is with all of you today and in the future. And a broken heart it is.
ReplyDeleteLieve Rob, Marion, Natasha en Lauren,
ReplyDeleteUit respect voor Kay en voor jullie verlies hebben zowel Dames 1 als Dames 2 van Kay's hockeyclub vandaag de wedstrijden met rouwbanden gespeeld. Ook hebben beide teams een minuut stilte gehouden voor Kay. We zullen haar herinneren als een dappere, stoere en vrolijke meid en we zullen haar nooit vergeten. We wensen jullie heel veel sterkte toe in deze moeilijke tijd.
Karlijn Liebregts
Marion & Rob,
ReplyDeleteWe are all in shock. Our deapest condolences.
Don't know what to say.
Wat is het moeilijk in het Engels onze treurnis en verdriet aan julle over te brengen. We wensen jullie heel veel sterkte.
Marie-Louise & Paul, Jeroen, Martijn en Ingeborg
Beste Rob, Marion, Natasha en Lauren,
ReplyDeletewe kunnen het nog steeds niet geloven. Het is zo onrechtvaardig na de dappere strijd die Kay samen met jullie heeft gestreden. Ons gedachten zullen nu en in de toekomst bij jullie zijn. Heel veel sterkte toegewenst,
Liefs van Olga, Sikko, Esther, Astrid en Isabel
Lieve Rob, Marion, Nattie en Lauren,
ReplyDeleteIk kan gewoon niet beschrijven hoe ik me nu voel. Voel me egoïstisch: dat ik zo intens verdrietig ben, terwijl het voor jullie duizend maal erger is. Ik vind het ontzettend erg, kan er gewoon geen woorden voor vinden.
Aan Kaytje: Ik ben zo blij dat ik je afgelopen donderdag nog heb gezien, en tegen je heb kunnen praten. Ik zal je ontzettend missen.
Liefs Judith (Juut)
Condolences from Esther, Ton, Max and Evelien. Every morning we rushed to the computer, hoping to read that Kay's situation had improved. She has fought an impressive battle. It is unfair that she lost.
ReplyDeleteWe wish you all the strength you need to put back together a life without Kay.
Dearest Rob, Marion, Lauren and Natasha,
ReplyDeleteWe are heart broken to hear this devastating news. There really are no words to convey our deepest sympathy and condolences. Kay has touched so many lives in a positive and thought provoking way. She will always have a special place in our hearts and will never be forgotten.
We are thinking of you,
Brett, Philippa, Luke and Quinn xxx
Veel sterkte in deze moeilijke tijd, Kay we zullen je missen dat leuke meisje met het mooie rode haar.
ReplyDeleteFam. van Geldrop
Very dear Rob, Marion, Lauren & Natasha
ReplyDeleteYou are among the dearest and bravest people one could ever encounter, and your dear Kay and her courage and grace have touched countless lives deeply. My eyes, my heart and soul too, are full. Please know that grandparents Howe, together with several hundred other people who have gathered during the day here at St Michael's in Bramhall, have quietly commended Kay's brave soul to the gentle keeping of Paradise.
I've been looking for God, along with you, during the course of Kay's long struggle with illness. I've asked and will still ask similar questions. Oh, but I HAVE seen God IN EACH OF YOU; in Kay, in her siblings, in her grandparents here, and especially in you, her dear parents ... courageously and gracefully sharing the harrowing account of your family story. I've known of God at work in the tender hands of medics and carers. I've seen God in the faces of many I've seen praying for you and for Kay.
The God I've seen in you is the same God I've worshipped all my life ... whose name and whose mystery is Love. May Love heal and encourage you. May love bring you comfort and peace. May Love allow you to say (and to shout) and to be all that you are and all that you truly feel. May Love assure you that you and yours are numbered amongst the finest, the most dignified, the best.
Know that you are honoured: loved even, by people you've never even met in person. Know that there are Christians who've struggled with you in your questioning of life and of any notion of the Divine ... but who have continued to pray with and for you. And who will yet continue to pray with and for you.
Kay will remain a candle in my heart, in yours, and in so many others. And it's my belief that her light now shines in company with God's; forever, in peace.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR DEAR LOVE.
With my love and heartfelt sympathy, for you and for your wider family and friends.
Fr Simon and the people of St Michael & All Angels Bramhall.
I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach when I read the news. I cannot imagine how you are all feeling. Just know that we are all thinking of you and will be here when you need us. Kay was a very exceptional girl and will live forever in your hearts.
ReplyDeleteLesley, Liam, Max and Caroline x
Lieve Rob, Marion, Natasha en Lauren,
ReplyDeleteOneerlijk dat het zo is gelopen...
Heel veel sterkte met alles we denken aan jullie
Liefs Nick & Esther
Ik las vanmorgen de laatste twee berichten.....Heb er geen woorden voor. Kay, zó'n lieve, prachtige en dappere schat. Ze heeft samen met haar papa en mama zo lang en hard moeten knokken - Niemand zal dit ooit begrijpen, waarom ??????? Lieve Marion en Rob, Natasha, Lauren, opa's en oma's en overige familie, heel veel kracht en sterkte. Dag engeltje Kay, rust zacht...
ReplyDeletexxx
Bettine
Heel veel sterkte en kracht de komende tijd!
ReplyDeleteFam. Vromans
I still can't find the words but a second of the day hasn't passed without you and your family on my mind. Please draw strength from your family and your friends, we are here for you even though we can not make things right.
ReplyDeleteSharon x
“Come along then.” said Jonathan. “Climb with me away from the ground, and we’ll begin.”
“You don’t understand My wing. I can’t move my wing.”
“Maynard Gull, you have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.It is the Law of the Great Gull, the Law that Is.”
“Are you saying I can fly?”
“I say you are free.”
Kay - you are free to soar the skies with the angels, I know you will watch over your Mum, Dad, Lauren and Nattie, god bless X
Quoting Jonathan Livingstone Seagull will always knock me over. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteRob, Marion, Lauren and Natasha
ReplyDeleteI don't have anything eloquent to say right now. Just hope that the many people that have followed your blog will bring some kind of collective support to help you through your grief.
Love Alistair, Sue and Emma
Woorden schieten tekort, heel veel sterkte de komende tijd
ReplyDeleteFam. Briaire
Daar zijn geen woorden voor........ Wij wensen jullie heel veel kracht en sterkte met dit enorme verlies. Fam. vd Dungen
ReplyDeleteVeel sterkte we denken aan jullie.
ReplyDeleteLiefs familie van Heugten
Beste Rob en Marion,
ReplyDeleteWij werden regelmatig op de hoogte gehouden aangaande de toestand van Kay.
Toen wij gisteren het slechte nieuws kregen waren wij zeer aangedaan. Het verlies van een kind is volgens ons het ergste wat je kan gebeuren.
Wij wensen jullie en de kinderen heel veel sterkte.
Leo en Jose Koch
She is gone.
ReplyDeleteYou can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come backor you can open your eyes and see all she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or be full of the love you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she'd want,smile,open your eyes,love and go on.
Aunty Jacky
Dearest Rob, Marion, Lauren and Natasha
ReplyDeleteYou are probably still numb with shock, and deeply exhausted after this long fight and its tragic ending. Although stark, I have found Bonhoeffer's words a comfort:
"The cost of love
Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God doesn’t fill it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain."
Over time, the things that hurt most now will transmute into the sweetest of memories, but there is no short cut. So many people will be missing Kay and feeling for you, sharing your grief. This brings love from Wendy and all the family, always.
Woorden schieten tekort.... In gedachten zijn we bij jullie.
ReplyDeleteMonique en Trudy van Lukkien